Book Review: I’m Sorry You Feel That Way

06.12.2022

Book Review | I’m Sorry You FeelThat Way by Rebecca Wait

This book was an absolute surprise to me. It's not really like anything else I've read before although it absolutely has notes of other books I've loved including Wally Lamb's She's Come Undone, Meg Mason's Sorrow and Bliss and Emily Austin's Someday Everyone in this Room Will Be Dead. Wait's writing style grabbed me at once. As soon as I started reading the scenes at the wake I was gripped by the wry humour and the multi-layered storytelling. This book is like someone with a really dry sense of humour telling you a story, leaving you unsure when to smile and when to just nod solemnly and express concern.

My review for this will be relatively short (by my standards at least) because in trying to recommend the book to others I have repeatedly learned that I simply cannot verbally articulate it in its entirely. The strength of the novel lies, for me, in the characters. Not only are they well drawn but they're also very individual, particularly Celia. Wait explores mental health and perhaps, though not explicitly, neurodiversity through two generations of women, treading a delicate line between naming illnesses and leaving characters completely unsure why they feel different. Additionally she explores the culture of secrecy and shame around mental illness and how that manifests in family history and alters over generations.

The story weaves between past and present, starting with Celia as a young child and ending with her own children growing up and leaving home. The storytelling is deft, managing to switch between times and places while keeping true to following the inner lives of each character. Though the story revolves around an event only revealed to the reader near to the end of the book, there's no sense of powering through to get to the end. Instead the story is paced gently and there's plenty of time to truly get to know each character.

Though I had a soft spot for Alice, I found Celia the most intriguing character. We get to know her over such a vast swathe of her life that the reader can't help but try to put two and two together and try to understand how she became who she is. Celia is such a contradiction of both wanting and repelling love that she's totally compulsive reading. I couldn't help but care for her even though I thought her behaviour was often unforgiveable and/or genuinely baffling.

As I said, it's hard really to pin down the story or 'hook' of this novel as it's really more about exploring relationships over time. Ultimately though it's a story about one family over two generations and how miscommunication and mental health have shaped their lives and experiences. Highly recommend.

Thanks to NetGalley for a free advance e-copy in return for an honest review.

You can buy your copy through my affiliate link at Bookshop.org - fyi I get a small proportion of the profit, as do an independent bookshop of my choice!